there's no point in living anymore. i lost the faith i used to have back when my life was happy and i was surrounded by my frens. everything felt real back then. i felt like i belonged somewhere. now i don't even know when it all fell apart. i keep asking myself why it turned out like this. i hate myself to an unimaginable degree. every thought circles back to that, and every memory hurts. but then again there are still things i still like. things i care about, and that makes it even worse to live with it. i don't want this pain. i just want it to end once and for all. i want everything to stop. maybe in the next life i'll be happy again